We're off to see the lizard!Johnny Depp'sheroic chameleon led'Rango'to a No. 1 debut at the box office this weekend with an estimated $38.0 million.
The cartoon Western with the all-animal cast had been expected to open a bit higher, in the $40-44 million range. It may have been hurt by the fact that it wasn't in 3D (it's the first animated feature in recent memory that isn't), by competition from the still-strong'Gnomeo& Juliet'and by middling word-of-mouth (kids may have enjoyed it more if so many of the jokes weren't pitched over their heads). Still, positive reviews, a broad release pattern (nearly 4,000 screens), ubiquitous marketing and the beloved Depp helped give 'Rango' the biggest per-screen average ($9,701 per venue) of any wide-release film this weekend.
Opening in second place,Matt Damon's'The Adjustment Bureau'did a a couple million better than expected, bringing in an estimated $20.9 million. The figure is especially impressive given that 'Bureau' was targeted at the same adult drama audience already being served by such films as'Unknown,''The King's Speech,'and Damon's own'True Grit.'The sci-fi romance benefited from evocative marketing that made it look a lot like last year's smash 'Inception.' The movie marks Matt Damon's best opening since'The Bourne Ultimatum'four years ago.
Also opening better than expected was teen horror/romance'Beastly,'with an estimated $10.1 million, good for third place. Predictions had suggested the movie would open at around $8 million, since neitherVanessa HudgensnorAlex Pettyferis a proven box office draw, and since the teen movie market already includes'Justin Bieber: Never Say Never'and'I Am Number Four'a very similar film to 'Beastly,' right down to the casting of Pettyfer as the unearthly, tormented lead. Nonetheless, 'Beastly' had terrific word-of-mouth, especially among viewers under 18. Last week'stop movie,'Hall Pass,'slipped to No. 4 this week with an estimated $9.0 million. That's just a 33 percent drop from last weekend. The midlife crisis comedy's ten-day take is $27.0 million.
'Gnomeo& Juliet,' which finished just a nose behind 'Hall Pass' last weekend, came in fifth this week, earning an estimated $6.9 million. That's a drop of 48 percent from last week, not bad given competiton from 'Rango.' The Shakespeare-spoofing cartoon's four-week total is $83.7 million.
'The King's Speech' was expected to enjoy a bounce this weekend after last Sunday's Oscar sweep (including Best Picture, Best Actor, Best Original Screenplay and Best Director prizes). While it did hop up one rung fron No. 8 to No. 7, it earned slightly less this weekend, an estimated $6.5 million (down 11 percent), having also lost 145 screens. Still, it's impressive for a movie in its 15th week of release to still be earning $6.5 million. The indie drama's box office to date stands at $123.8 million; a $150 million take seems within reach.
The fourth new wide-release movie of the week,'Take Me Home Tonight,'didn't even crack the top 10. Given the '80s-nostalgia party comedy's confused marketing (was it for teens or Gen X-ers?),Topher Grace'snever-proven box office appeal as a movie leading man and the film's competition for the raunchy-comedy audience against 'Hall Pass' and'Just Go With It,'it's no wonder the movie opened beneath optimistic projections of $6 million. Rather, it debuted at No. 11 with an estimated $3.5 million. Plus, the release had a distinct whiff of mothballs. It's been sitting on the shelf for four years, so the nostalgia it evokes best is for the heady days of 2007, whenAnna Fariswas still a box office draw.
Welcome toWhere Everyone Has Gone Before, the weekly column where I continue my film education before your very eyes by seeking out and watching all of the movies I should have seen by now. I will first judge the movie before I've watched it, based entirely on its reputation (and my potentially misguided thoughts). Then I will give the movie a fair chance and actually watch it. You will laugh at me, you may condemn me, but you will never say I didn't try!
Starring:Divine, David Lochary, Mary Vivian Pearce, Mink Stole and Danny Mills.
Why I Haven't Seen It Until Now:The real reason? I haven't seen 'Pink Flamingos' because it sounds absolutely disgusting. Not in a high-minded moral way, mind you, but in a"this sounds like it may actually make me sick to my stomach and I'm not sure I'm up to that challenge"way. But that's the kind of answer that makes me sound like a wimp, so this paragraph is just a placeholder until I can think of a decent lie. Oops.
Pre-Viewing Assumptions:Outside of its title and presence on every known list of"top cult movies,"I know very little of John Waters' 'Pink Flamingos.' This is one of those strange cases of a film's infamy overpowering the film itself -- I'm fairly certain that a lot of people in my generation are familiar with the film's reputation but don't know anything about what goes on in the film itself. And that's if they have even heard of the film. If any filmmaker inhabited a very specific niche, it's Waters.
So, without further ado, here's what I do know about 'Pink Flamingos.'
Divine, easily the most horrifying of movie drag queens, plays a particularly disgusting individual concerned only with claiming the title of"filthiest person alive."Others decide to compete against her in a display of white trash bravado and faster than you can say"This is the plot of the movie?", all sorts of horrible business is occurring right before your very eyes, a ninety minute cinematic geek show that dares you to watch as things get increasingly revolting. I want to say this sounds like an early example of raunchy comedy, but"raunchy"feels like a word invented to describe man-children played by Jim Carrey slipping in poop in mediocre mid-90s comedies. Perhaps the word I'm looking for isn't raunchy, but rather"evil."'Pink Flamingos' sounds like an evil comedy.
Truth be told, I haven't been this frightened of a movie in this column since 'Cannibal Holocaust.'
Being more familiar with Waters as an off-screen personality than as a filmmaker, I find it easy to imagine him making this movie just because he knows he'll get a kick out of watching an audience squirm. Will 'Pink Flamingos' work for me in the comfort of my home or is this something best served by a trip to your local independent cinema for a sold-out midnight screening packed full of people seeing the film for the hundredth time? Will it's reputation hold up or have the ravages of time dulled its fangs down to round nubs? Well, I suppose it's time to find out.
Post-Viewing Reaction:Whenever I gather screenshots for this column, I search through the film at hand and look for frames that sum up the film. Sometimes it's an iconic image, sometimes it's just a striking composition, but I take the process very seriously. It's important to me to find shots that will define the film for anyone reading.
That's not going to happen with 'Pink Flamingos' because every shot that gives you an actual glimpse into this film's pitch black heart does not belong on a website that caters to movie fans of all tastes and ages. So if you're a twelve year old movie lover who's disappointed that I can't share an image of a man performing on stage with a"singing"anus, feel free to add this movie to your Netflix queue so you can see it yourself. No one's stopping you. In the meantime, you can enjoy the handful of relatively clean images I managed to cull from the film. They're the only ones.
Yes,"Pink Flamingos"manages to live up to its borderline mythological hype quite nicely and I'll admit to having to stare at my feet on more than one occasion to avoid losing my dinner. Surely that's the point. You don't make a film that climaxes with your lead character eagerly devouring freshly, uh,releaseddog feces without harboring some secret hope of an audience made up of squares like me barfing into their popcorn. There had to have been some point in production when John Waters pulled his eye away from the camera, giggled and shook his head, flabbergasted that he was actually getting away with this.
Actually, you can quite clearly see how Waters got away with the film just by looking at the credits. He was practically a crew of one, writing, directing, editing, producing and acting as his own cinematographer. He shot on weekends and scrounged up the budget during the week. The resulting film looks as primitive as they come -- it's badly shot, cheap looking and the entire soundtrack is muffled, masking an dialogue that is pitched lower than a piercing scream (but enough of the characters shout all of their lines to make this only a minor issue). You can say what you want about the final product, but Waters is not making a single compromise to his vision. It may be rough around the edges (and through the middle and on the top and on the bottom), but it'shismovie. It's as pure an undiluted artistic vision as they come.
With that out of the way, this is the point where I'm allowed to say that I didn't care much for 'Pink Flamingos' and really can't fathom putting myself through it again. With the entire cast simply competing to be"the filthiest person alive,"no one finds time to be likeable or interesting, they only find time to have bizarre chicken-infused sex or operate rape dungeons to turn a profit on the infant black market. It's actually impressive just how despicable each and every character in this movie is and how completely irredeemable their actions are; there is never a single attempt to let us like these people. This thing is like the 'Salo' of comedies -- it's just too ruthlessly unpleasant to sit through more than once but once you've seen it, you will never un-see it.
Although other films have attempted similar shock comedy over the years, most don't have what 'Pink Flamingos' has: honest-to-god freaks. I use that term endearingly. These are not actors (and by that, I mean their acting is just simply not very good) and they are not in a glossy Hollywood production that would allow them to fake what they're doing. No, these are people that Waters dug up and showcased on film, a joyful middle finger to anyone with a shred of dignity. Because these people are obviously real (the obese mother looks uncomfortably happy and content sitting in her baby carriage) and because the film's crude production doesn't allow for most of this to be faked (and things that are faked, like a series of murders, are very poorly executed), we can't take comfort in thinking it's only a movie."Pink Flamingos"is an anarchy-fueled gut punch to decency. You just have to admire the nerve on the display.
At the same time, the movie's campy storyline and community theater acting manage to undercut much of the film's nastiness, keeping it possible to watch. The film may lack things like a decent story, but Waters and his cast bring a nice sense of self awareness to the table. They know they're being disgusting and they're having a grand 'ol time doing it. The appeal of the film lies in tapping into the weird joy of everyone involved -- the script feels like it was written around a series of escalating dares involving what everyone would and wouldn't do.
When all is said and done, is there a point to"Pink Flamingos"outside of it being shocking just for the sake of it? There are twinges of slight social commentary (Divine's trailer trash, blue collar family does take on a sociopath, apartment-dwelling upper class couple, after all), but I think the truth is that Waters discovered a basic truth: people like watching really, really disgusting things. The Internet may offer a daily smorgasbord of depravity, but 'Pink Flamingos' did it first, nearly forty years ago. Just as there is not point for people to watch certain Internet videos that I won't describe here because I don't want to lose my job, there is no point in watching 'Pink Flamingos' other than being able to say you've seen it. To say anything more about the film would be to give it too much credit. I can't help but think that John Waters would agree with that.
Next Week's Column:Well folks, we're just about ready to wrap this particular line-up of films. Next week, I'll take on atriple feature of Clint Eastwood westerns('High Plains Drifter,' 'Pale Rider' and 'The Outlaw Josey Wales', to be specific) and that'll leave only one remaining film for the following week -- Fredrico Fellini's classic'La Dolce Vita.'Voting will return next week with a brand new batch of movies to choose from!
Showing that his sense of humor was still intact as well, Arquette'sTweetincluded aCharlie Sheenreference:"I got into a car accident but I'm fine. Luckily I have dragon's blood running through my veins. Haha Thank you for all your concern."He then added,"Remember to wear your seatbelt-wish I was."
An eyewittness told the site that a car in front of Arquette suddenly stopped, forcing him to steer into traffic and causing the accident.
Although Arquette was seen lying on the ground bleeding, before being taken to the hospital, his rep toldUsMagazine.comthat the actor is okay."He's fine,"says the rep."He is on his way to be treated."
In a genre overrun by tacky romantics movies, a film like'Take Me Home Tonight'is wonderfully refreshing. Yes, it'll have some romance as Topher Grace's character bumps into his old high school crush, Tori Trederking (Teresa Palmer), but what sets this film apart from the rest is that it revolves around what could be an absolutely epic party, or, as the film's tagline suggests, the"Best. Night. Ever."
Now here's something we haven't seen in quite a while. 'Easy A' is certainly a hilarious high school comedy, but party-wise, there's really nothing worthy of the"epic"title and something feels wrong about calling a party epic in a film that actually dubs itself"an epic of epic epicness."Sorry, 'Scott Pilgrim.' Oh, and the trippy casino party in 'Percy Jackson?' Not school-related and more of an epic and awkward fail than anything. We're in need of an onscreen schoolparty that isn't just a scene in a movie, rather the reason for the movie's existence– all roads lead to this party. So, before you indulge in what will hopefully be just that in 'Take Me Home Tonight' this weekend, check out an epic list of epic pastime favorites.
'Dazed and Confused'– Party at the Moon Tower What's key to hosting a high school party? Don't have the keg delivered while your parents are still home. At least there was a bright side to Pickford's blunder, the party at the moon tower. The entire school is there– seniors, juniors, sophomores, freshman and even alumni, specifically David Wooderson (Matthew McConaughey). There's drinking, smoking, fights, budding young love; what more could you ask for at a high school party? As epic as this party is, one of the most memorable moon tower moments in the film doesn't even take place at the party, rather as Wooderson spreads the word. And if you really feel like"L-I-V-I-N,"there are a slew of"Party at the Moon Tower"products out there like t-shirts and even anecktie. I don't know about the tie, butthis shirtin particular is pretty awesome.
'Romy and Michele's High School Reunion'– The 10-Year Reunion The concept of a 10-year high school reunion would be a lot more fun had I gone to high school with people like Romy and Michele. First off, what these ladies go through to prepare for the big night is hilariously ridiculous. You wouldn't think their antics could get any more absurd, but oh, do they. Between the ladies' effort to look all"business-like"to their Post-It scheme to Heather Mooney's reunion with the shady cowboy, this party is packed with everything and anything outrageous. You thought I almost forgot the dance number, didn't you? That moment deserves a little attention of its own. It's basically impossible to hear the song"Time After Time"without picturing Romy and Michele having their magical moment with Sandy Frink. Relive it for yourself below:
'Can't Hardly Wait'– The Last Party of the Year What didn't happen at this party? Preston (Ethan Embry) is in pursuit of his recently single high school crush, Amanda Beckett (Jennifer Love Hewitt), while she's fending off all of the other guys who see her situation as the golden opportunity, including her own cousin. Then there's her ex, Mike Dexter (Peter Facinelli) who's unknowingly the target of William Lichter (Charlie Korsmo) and his band of nerds' plan to humiliate him for the years of torment. Meanwhile, Special K (Seth Green) is on the prowl for his"lucky one,"Denise Fleming (Lauren Ambrose) gets a pot brownie to the face, Jenna Elfman is an angel stripper, Jerry O'Connell is a horny douche bag, Vicki's (Melissa Joan Hart) coveted yearbook takes a swim and so much more. The drunken antics are certainly nonstop at this party, but of the bunch, there's no other moment I'd rather be part of than this one:
'Empire Records'– Save The Empire Party Okay, so this isn't exactly a school party per se, but it does involve a bunch of pre-college kids attempting to save the store they work for. What happens when the independent, free-spirited record store you love is about to be swallowed up by a massive franchise? It's easy; you find a kid to rob your store, have an employee hunt him down in a wicked chase scene set to the tune of"Ready, Steady, Go,"get the kid to come back with a vengeance and a gun, catch him again then hijack the local news report to promote the bash. In the midst of sharing good tunes, selling music memorabilia and serving old ladies in curlers beer, you just set up a jar with a sign that says"Give Us Your Money"and within no time, you'll have enough to buy the store yourself. See? It's that easy. Oh, but don't forget to get Renee Zellweger to belt out the chorus of"Sugar High"on the roof, otherwise, the party is bound to be a bust.
'Superbad'– Jules' Party Mark's party came close to snagging this honor, but as amusing as it is listening to Michael Cera sing"These Eyes"and watching Jonah Hill try to cover up a nasty stain on his pants, it's Jule's party where everything in this film comes to a head and it's absolutely hilarious. McLovin (Christopher Mintz-Plasse) finally gets with Nicola, Becca (Martha MacIsaac) barfs on Evan and Seth gets to be the king of the party. The trio might be some of the biggest losers at school, but if it weren't for them, Jules' party would never have been as unforgettably out of control. The highlight of this one? No, not when Officers Slater and Michaels cock block McLovin or when Seth carries Evan to safety, but something short and sweet– when Seth head butts Jules. Not only does the guy spill his heart to the girl he loves and get rejected, but then he proceeds to pass out and bash her in the face. Ouch for both parties involved.
'Scream'– Stu's Party As much fun as it is to watch drunken messes make fools of themselves and characters behave hilariously irrational, we've got to honor one of the best high school bloodbaths of them all, the grand finale of 'Scream,' Stu's party. In true high school party fashion, this bash boasts booze and sex, but unlike the rest on this list, from there, it's all about the bloodshed. We've got Tatum's (Rose McGowan) garage door demise, bloody windshield wiping courtesy of Kenny the cameraman (W. Earl Brown), death-by-TV and so much more all coming to fruition in one of the most insane killer revelations ever. Not only do Stu and Billy (Matthew Lillard and Skeet Ulrich) divulge the details of their plan, but the two proceed to top it all off by stabbing one another. What other school party has that?
'She's All That'– Prom Thanks to this film, just about every pre-high school grad dreams of having a prom like this– an absolutely massive event with gorgeous decorations, a dance floor packed with professional dancers, Usher as a DJ and, of course, the end of an epic battle for prom queen between the most popular girl at school and the nerd-turned-bombshell. All of this is a heck of a lot of fun to watch, but what makes this onscreen prom more unforgettable that anything is the choreographed dance to Fatboy Slim's"The Rockafella Skank."Is this a high school comedy or a musical? I don't know who thought having the student body break out into that dance would seem logical whatsoever, but apparently they knew what they were doing because, realistic or not, the choreographed dance and dream prom now go hand in hand.
The problem with'Blade Runner'emerging from the ashes of its initial critical and financial failure to become known as one of the greatest science fiction movies of all time (said without an iota of hyperbole, thank you very much), is that it runs the risk of becoming just another popular commodity, ready to be used and abused by the powers that be. Now that Ridley Scott's epic sci-fi film noir is officially the prettiest girl at the ball, everyone wants to get their hands on her.
So many others have tried, but it looks like Alcon Entertainment has succeeded:Varietyreports that the production company is in final negotiations to secure film and TV rights to 'Blade Runner,' allowing them to do whatever they want with the franchise (man, 'Blade Runner' is a"franchise"now) short of remaking it. After all, this girl does have some measure of class.
You are forgiven if your initial reaction is one of abject horror -- How Dare They Tamper With This Masterpiece! -- it's only natural. Alcon's deal will allow them to play in the 'Blade Runner' sandbox, letting them produce prequels and sequels to the original 1982 film in any media. A brief perusal through science fiction film history will reveal many great movies having their reputations tarnished by both sequels ('Alien'!) and prequels ('Star Wars'!), so getting up in arms and raging into the internet feels like the only appropriate action.
It's tough to be optimistic in general, but nearly impossible to be optimistic when you examine the often nefarious machinations of Hollywood.Believe it or not, however, it is entirely possible to remain optimistic on the subject of further adventures in the 'Blade Runner' universe. It's tough, but let's go ahead and put on those rose-tinted glasses for just a moment, okay?
'Blade Runner' functions beautifully as a great, two-fisted noir tale, but what really separates it from its contemporaries is the universe in which it's set. The film's depiction of 2019 Los Angeles (surely they'll add a couple of decades to that date if they go ahead with future projects) manages to feel terrifyingly alien while being eerily prescient, a nightmarish exaggeration of our own world. There may be flying cars, space travel and fugitive robots on the loose, but it's the anti-Roddenberry vision of what we'll do to ourselves. The world is dirty, dark, overcrowded and polluted. New languages have emerged in every neighborhood and communication feels impossible. It's a world in which it's easy to get lost and easy to vanish in, a world teeming with so much desperate life that there must be a story worth telling on every street corner.
'Blade Runner' took this world and wove a film noir through it. What else can this world offer? What is it like to work in this world, to commute, to raise a family? What's it like to fall in love in this universe? What kind of movies do people watch? What happened to the education system? When will the robotic slaves known as Replicants finally take a stand and fight for their civil rights?
There is enough life in every shot of 'Blade Runner' to inform a hundred fascinating stories. If you're going to explore this universe through prequels and sequels, don't dwell on previously tread stories. Don't make a sequel with the same plot as the original film. Branch out. Explorelifein a science world. Heck, Alcon, you have the option of taking this to television. Why not deliver the science fiction equivalent ofThe Wire?
Sadly, any 'Blade Runner' prequels and sequels we'll see will probably be fairly straightforward action films (it's not like noir is in style right now, anyway). However, Alcon should realize that 'Blade Runner' does not share the same audience as the common summer blockbuster. Going a little smarter, a litter darker and a little deeper can only prove beneficial.
They say music soothes the savage beast, but it seems to us that the best musically-driven movie scenes do just the opposite: They get our toes tapping, our hands clapping and our rumps shaking. When executed the right way, scenes that heavily involve music -- such asthe 'Tiny Dancer' sing-along in Cameron Crowe's 'Almost Famous'-- can leave unforgettable impressions for decades to come.
Just how near and dear to cinephiles' hearts are such scenes? Well, take it from us: They areveryimportant. As we set about to determine our list of the 50 all-time best music scenes in film history, the arguments that erupted around the Moviefone office as we whittled down our list were more contentious than a Rabbit vs. Papa Doc rap battle.
Yet even with our impassioned back-and-forths, we're sure our list omits some cinematic contenders that you love. We encourage you to argue along with us in the comments section. Before we begin the countdown, however, let's discuss the two rules that guided us as we shaped our list:
No musicals allowed! As much as we like 'The Sound of Music' and 'An American in Paris,' the musical numbers in those films are a completely different breed of animal than, say, the parade scene from 'Ferris Bueller's Day Off.' Both have their places, but this list is all about the latter.
No"scored"scenes! We love a good soundtrack as much as anyone, but for this list we considered only those scenes in which the music -- whether emanating from an onscreen band, a boombox, a disco's sound system, the mouths of the characters, etc. -- is part of the action. (Film nerds refer to scenes like this as being"diegetic."Non-nerds, you just learned something.) This explains, for instance, the absence of movies with killer, primarily non-diegetic soundtracks, such as 'Rushmore' and 'The Graduate.'
Got it? Then click on the buttons below to enjoy our countdown of the 50 best music scenes from movies.
Which is the more serious affliction plaguing society right now: our nation's growing obesity epidemic or Hollywood's growing fat suit epidemic? Before you answer, consider the fact thatthe third installment of 'Big Momma's House'has raked in more than $28 million at the box office. (See? We're all affected.)
Yes, when all else fails, movie-makers get lazy and lean on the big-bodied for big laughs -- or at least a few guilty chuckles. But Martin Lawrence isn't the only Hollywood heavyweight bulking up in the name of box-office returns. Join us as we slowly waddle down memory lane to rank the good, the bad and the bloated with our list of the 25 best movie fat suit performances.
25.Meg Ryanin'Homeland Security' (aka 'My Mom's New Boyfriend)'(2008) To set up the flimsy premise of this forgettable comedy about an FBI agent (Colin Hanks) who is forced to spy on his mom, Meg Ryan transforms into a slob in grimy sweatpants. If you don't remember this role, or this movie, don't feel bad: The appearance loses its humor faster than this film went to DVD (which is to say, immediately).
Click image to view clip.
24.Robert John Burkein'Thinner'(1996) Most fat suits are donned for comedic purposes, and this one fits the bill -- unintentionally. 'Thinner' is supposed to be a serious horror movie, but Burke's ill-fitting fat suit sets the wrong tone for this undistinguished Stephen King adaptation.
23.Ellen Burstynin'Requiem for a Dream'(2000) Burstyn puts on a slightly tubby suit to play Sara Goldfarb, a woman who enjoys high-sugar snack foods and watching her favorite game show. It's hardly noticeable when Burstyn loses the suit halfway through the movie, but then her character really lops off the pounds, and drops off the deep end, and lands in a loony bin. Fat and happy, or skinny and crazy? We say pass the Ho Hos.
Click on image to see clip.
22.Nicolas Cagein'Adaptation'(2002) Nicolas Cage dons an understated fat suit to play the role of the Kaufman brothers, Charlie and Donald. Cage chose to forgo putting on 25 or so pounds and went with a believable fat suit instead. Don't worry Cage fans, the extra heft doesn't cover up his trademark overacting, tics and freakouts. There's not a large enough fat suit in the world capable of pulling that off.
21.Julia Robertsin'America's Sweethearts'(2001) Roberts plays Kiki, the personal assistant to her actress sister, Gwen (Catherine Zeta-Jones). Kiki starts the film as the ugly duckling before a flashback reveals she was also the fat duckling. In addition to the extra chin, the filmmakers gave Roberts awkward bangs and a pair of glasses to hammer home just how undateable she was. Order is restored before the credits roll, as Roberts finishes things off as the movie's central love interest with a waistline barely wider than her trademark smile.
20.Sharon Stonein'Alpha Dog'(2006) As we've already learned, if it's not supposed to be funny, a fat suit probably isn't the way to go. Stone plays a bad parent who eats away her grief in 'Alpha Dog,' and the results are distracting. Stone does everything she can to work through her dramatic scenes in the fat suit, but we had a hard time not focusing on how much she looks like Bruce Vilanch instead.
Click image to see clip.
19.Alyson Hanniganin'Date Movie'(2006) We know Alyson Hannigan is busy with 'How I Married Your Mother' and all, but her"heavy"involvement in this abysmally low-rated spoof may have something to do with why she hasn't appeared in a movie since.
18.Rachel McAdamsin'Mean Girls'(2004) When Cady Heron (Lindsay Lohan) needs to take down Regina George (Rachel McAdams), she hits Regina where it hurts: right in the muffin tops. Heron tricks George into eating carb-loading energy bars and George quickly balloons from wafer-thin cheerleader to a high school girl of average weight. The horror!
17.Steve Carellin'Get Smart'(2008) The fat suit Carell jumps into for a pointless flashback scene in 'Get Smart' is the ultimate waste of fake blubber. In order to get a taste of what Agent 86 went through during his early years in training, we travel back in time to watch a bulked-up Carell, stuffed into a quintuple XL sweatsuit, struggling through an obstacle course.
Click image to view clip.
16.Martin Shortin'Jiminy Glick in Lalawood'(2004) Finally, a group of overweight people deserving of mockery: film critics. Too bad Martin Short's clueless Glick appeared in a movie few people other than film critics actually saw.
15.Adam Sandlerin'Click'(2006) Michael Newman (Sandler) uses his magical remote control to get a look at his future. Unfortunately, in the future, he can't get a look at his toes (or his manhood) because of all the poundage he has packed on. From playing with his newfound breasts to losing his remote control in his backfat, Sandler wrings every laugh he can out of this futuristic fat man.
14.Kenan Thompsonin'Fat Albert'(2004) Hey, hey, hey ... it's a forced remake! When Fat Albert and his buddies leave the cartoon world, they pop out into the real world where Kenan Thompson's Albert can only be rendered properly under a puffy body suit, an oversized red sweater and rehashed one-liners.
13.John Travoltain'Hairspray'(2007) Travolta covers up his giant chin cleft with a double chin to play Edna Turnblad in this campy musical based in 1960s Baltimore. It's Travolta's most transformative performance since he donned all that make-up to play Nic Cage in Face/Off.
12.Tyler Perryin his career Perry's trash-talking, weed-smoking, gun-toting grandma Madea has raked in millions of dollars over the last six years. We really wish we could type more sentences like that.
Click image to view clip.
11.Kathleen Turnerin'The Man with Two Brains'(1983) Steve Martin's Dr. Hfuhruhurr (pronounced just how it's spelled) performs his famous brain implant procedure on Dolores Benedict (Kathleen Turner) to put the mind of the woman he loves into the head of the woman he lusts. Not surprisingly, brain surgery has a few unexpected side effects. When Benedict's new brain comes with a new, healthier appetite, Hfuhruhurr winds up with even more woman to love. Kudos to Turner for being the first sex symbol willing to put on the fake bulk for laughs.
Click image to view clip.
10.Robin Williamsin'Mrs. Doubtfire'(1993) Robin Williams' highest grossing film taught us an important tip on parenting: The only way to be a true father figure is to dress up as an old British lady, sneak into your divorced wife's house and spend quality time with your children while in drag. Lesson learned.
9.Tim Allenin'The Santa Clause'(1994) Ho! ho! ugh! Turns out Santa Claus does exist, and he looks like Tim Allen with potatoes stuffed in his cheeks. Lost in Allen's charming performance as the man who takes over delivering presents for Santa is the fact that Allen's character only has to take over for Kris Kringle because hekilledhim. How did this movie ever get greenlit?
8.Eddie Murphyin every movie since 'Another 48 Hrs.' We live in a world where 'The Nutty Professor' won an Oscar but '12 Angry Men' didn't. Yes, every one of Murphy's fat suits is delightful, but come on, Eddie! You used to be one of the funniest people on the planet! Now all you do is stoop to comedy's lowest common denominator to milk your cash cow! How do you sleep at night?! (Probably on a giant pile of cash. In a female fat suit.)
7.Gwyneth Paltrowin'Shallow Hal'(2001) The usually toothpick-thin Paltrow gets sumo'ed up to show off her inner-beauty in this Farrelly brothers love story. Beneath all the double entendres and sight gags -- tiny girl makes big splash in pool! tiny girl breaks steel chair! tiny girl has big panties! -- the Farellys do their best to treat the overweight star of their movie with respect. (Paltrow, not co-star Jack Black.)
6. The twins in'Nothing But Trouble'(1991) Somehow a movie starring Chevy Chase, Dan Aykroyd, John Candy, Demi Moore and Humpty Hump from Digital Underground turned out to be completely forgettable ... except for these incredibly creepy mutant adult baby creatures that haunt our dreams to this day. How disgusting were these oily, balding, diaper-wearing nitwits? They were by far the most disturbing memory from a movie that included John Candy in drag.
5.Goldie Hawnin'Death Becomes Her'(1992) If you have a thing for Goldie Hawn as well as a thing for crazy cat ladies, we've found your perfect woman. Hawn is nearly unrecognizable at the end of this movie as we see what ultimately becomes of her character, Helen. Death would've been a better option. Hawn is hidden under a monstrous fat suit and some scraggly hair as we see Helen living alone in squalor surrounded by cats, eviction being the only thing capable of getting her out of the house.
4.Mike Myersin'Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me'(1999) He'll break wind mid-sentence, he'll eat your babies, he'll even sing horribly dated Chili's jingles -- yes, friends, Fat Bastard is a truly disgusting human being. This dude is so consumed with consuming, he even rushes through sex with Heather Graham so he can get back to chowing down on chicken legs as part of a post-coital feast.
3.Ben Stillerin'Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story'(2004) The best scene in this slapstick comedy takes place after the movie is over. When the credits finish rolling, a woefully out of shape White Goodman (Stiller) appears perched on his sofa like a beached whale. Before you can look away, the blimp-sized Goodman launches into a juggling act with his man boobs to the beat of Kelis' 'Milkshake.' After his brief boogie, Goodman asks,"You happy? Fatty make a funny?"No Fatty, we're actually a little nauseous.
2.Ryan Reynoldsin'Just Friends'(2005) Reynolds makes the transition from sexiest man alive to huskiest man alive to portray a down-on-his-luck high schooler with an unreciprocated crush. The look is complemented by a perm that comes straight out of the Pat from 'Saturday Night Live' look book. Reynolds seals the deal by closing out the credits with a flawless lip-sync rendition of All 4 One's 'I Swear.'
1.Tom Cruisein'Tropic Thunder'(2008) Cruise goes way over the top to caricature Hollywood studio executives with his portrayal of Les Grossman. This isn't just some fat suit that looks like a bunch of pillows stuffed under a shirt: Cruise has a believable paunch, a J-Lo-style booty bump and a thatch of chest hair that's more likely to attract fleas than ladies. The bombastic performance during the movie is just a warm-up to Cruise's chain-swinging dance routine to Ludacris' 'Get Back' during the credits. (What is it with fat suits and post-credit musical numbers?)
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